Natalie Catastrophe!

SO life is still ghey here in Kingsport. It still doesnt feel like home and I dont know where this lil dry spell when end. I cant draw and its frustrating me. I cannot think of anything. FUCK

I miss people. Everyone. I miss my friends. I do get to hang out with Destiny and Mark and I love them both. <3
but I miss other people.
I Miss Samie. She hasnt called much, i know shes busy. She usually sends me a myspace message tho every few days to check up. I love her for that. Shes the best.
Justin has been too busy with work to do anything but argue with me.
I just want to roll up and die.

I start work next wednesday. THANK GOD!

SO.

I read my past journal entries and laugh. Either I am really stupid or just finally finding my way. I honestly think I am an idiot.
I am living back in Kingsport..with Justin. Yeh. I know what you're thinking. You don't even have to say it.
My mom kicked me out because of a dispute between my mother, sister and myself about my car I was still paying for and insurance and not even have a ride to work without either paying more money or having to work 13 hour shifts and be yelled at constantly. I couldn't take it anymore.
Mom and I have gotten over it. I still have yet to speak to my sister. And it makes me want to die a little. I miss her.
At least I am drawing. Not as much as I should be considering I have so much free time on my hands having no job and all. Yea, I quit. All I have been doing is watching Niptuck and movies with Justin. Hanging out with Destiny and some other chill peeps, smokin' and such. The Usual.
I wish I had more friends up here. I guess I wil when I get a job. That will make things so much better. I just hope I can find kids my age to get to know. I miss having friends I could go and chill with. I cant stand having to be with Justin every waking hour of the day. I need my "ME" time.
Well that bout does it.

So I think i may start actually updating livejournal again. Since there is nothing better to at work.

Well I am no longer at Corbins. He kicked me out for reasons I will not put in my livejournal. you can ask me if you really MUST know but I would rather not say.
I am moved back in with mom and it sucks.
I got a new car and wrecked it after only a week. A 2005 Sentra. You must know I was beyond sad. I didnt total it but the insurance company doesnt want to cover the wreck and I cannot afford to fix it out of my own pocket. ><

Things have been a mess but good at the same time. I still have the same job and Im pretty content with it.
I need to go buy a DS and PSP for sure though because it is ungodly boring here at work. Im gonna buy a DS first and then a psp.:) yay.

So justin and I are completely over which makes me sad but happy. I still miss the times we used to have but in the end he wasnt there for me. He showed that to me in recent things that have been going on.

Im drawing again though! I havent drawn since i broke up with daniel around this time last year. Its an amazing feeling. I love it.

I have a new email, i suggest if you want me to know something , email me. I cannot check myspace or get on aim anymore so just send me a message at buugsandfrawgs@yahoo.com

Thanks and I love you all. ^__^

Yeh. Kind of. haha.

I am living with my friend Corbin and Best friend Samie!
I am pretty happy with it. But its only temp until me and Samie can afford a place of our own. Since we are packed in this lil' room together.

I have a new job. Its ...a job but i like it somewhat. I have a new car. Well..my moms old car. 99' Rav4 but its better than my 88' camry. :P

I got to see THE USED and 30 Seconds to Mars. Probably my 2 favorite bands right now.
I am thinking about getting my first tattoo. It is so hard to decide on what I want. I really want a chest piece. Christy is supposed to draw it out.

Yeeeeah. I might start posting pictures on here. Because i have a camera and internet access now!

Yes I now live back with my mother. I am such a nomad...kinda. haha. I got a job at kohls during the night and might possibly be getting another part time job during the day. I will be dead tired but I need to get some money in the bank. X___x I dont have the net at my house but I come to samies to use hers. Bwahaha.

I have been struggling trying to draw again. I really want to get back into that and guitar. Im taking this time to work and find myself again. Too much depression for me to handle lately. Im tired of relying on other people to make me happy. Im gonna learn to make myself happy for once.

But i love my friends. <3 They are the best. I wish I saw more of them more often.

I live in Oak Ridge now and I am not with Justin anymore. Sometimes you just have to go out and learn your lesson but everything looks up in the end.

How do you become happy without relying on someone else? Ive never been able to do it.

FUCK YES, One tree hill season 3 comes out on DVD September 26, HELL YEAH! Sorry Im a loser, its like my favorite show. Haha.

soooo...things have changed.

Daniel and I broke up. It is for the better.
I got kicked out of my house. Which kindly sucks.
Ive been kind of out of it lately.
I have a new cell phone. 964 2992
I smoke a lot.
Thats about it without all the bullshiit i get inbetween.

Thank you. Have a nice day

IM ALIVE I SWEAR!

Haha. So I got a job and it is one I like! I work at Blockbuster in Lenoir City, which is cool because I get to watch movies a lot! and get to play games!
Other than that I have been staying with Daniel which has been awesome but I miss having my own room and own space. I should be moving home in about a month or so. I hope to go look at college stuuf this month because I would really like to enroll.
Daniel is still the sweetest ever. I love him to death!
I cut my hair short and it looks cute. I need new glasses, my migraines have been terrible. I have gained like 20lbs and its got me depressed like bad. and I am working on it.
I miss certain people who I used to hang out with all the time, like brittany and nick and john and vicki (johnson city) Everyone though have their own busy lives. : / I guess i miss having a best girl friend I can go spend the night with and do girly stuuf with. I miss that.

I beat Tomb Raider : Legend...it was so easy, i was dissappointed. : /

Daniel is always a blessing. it has been nice having him so close all the time. :huggles:

well im off to bed!

PS: I dont get online that much anymore so I am sorry for the people I cannnot talk to much like Ciara :) but I do occasionally check livejournal when I get the chance. Take Care!

Natalie

So I am staying with Daniel for the summer. It is fun. :) We get to watch movies and play games all the time! INCLUDING UNO! Haha. Dorks I know.

I really need to diet. I have gained all my weight back. ew.

Im still jobless but its not too bad.
I graduated..finally.
I am buying a lot of movies, jesus.
Drawing is good.
I <3 Daniel

So life is pretty good.
Daniel is still rockin my lil world and I love him so. <3
I finally saw Corbin and Jade after a year and a half.
I am still jobless. Help.

I didnt die. my internet did.
I went to prom and it was okay.
I hate goodys now and Im looking for a new job.
I am still with Daniel and loving it.
Drawing better than ever.
I miss a lot of people.
Im almost done with Highschool. Yay.
If you want to hang out call me or come see me.
I dont have my cell phone anymore.

I am so happy.
I am drawing again
Samie is talking to me again and I to her.
Daniel is still awesome and I <3 him more and more all the time.
I have been watching tons of one tree hill.
I got a new tv.
woot!

more and more everyday for DW! Like Whoa! <3

Oh he does!

Yeh, Daniel came over tonight which was cool. What was uncool was me not getting me check in the mail and my mom being home the entire time. I was like WTF? I want some cuddlage time with de Daniel! We did anyway. :shrug:
Had a pretty good day at school today. Not too shabby. I still hate Family and Parenting. Its so lame and theres no one to talk to in that class to get through it with. Jeez.
Work tomorrow, a whopping 5 hours and then 11-8 Sunday. Woohoo. (rolls eyes) Mom is prolly going to get me up early tomorrow. How lame. Whatever, I will probably not get up. My weekend. My sleep. Sorry.

I pretty much love my Super Nintendo Emulator. <3

I like to stare into his eyes.

Girl Friends that is.

I SWEAR! I cannot keep a girl friend/ best friend for anything! I miss it so bad. I miss connecting with someone and sharing my thoughts and laughing it up with them but for the past few years I have lost every last one of them. Aubrey says I am being distant with her because I like Daniel but the truth is Im not! I have tried to make conversation with her and even invited her over to my house SEVERAL occasions, even New Years with Cody and she declined. So it is not my fault. I just miss having a best friend. I mean, I have a lot of guy friends but its not the same. I would think of Daniel has my best friend right now. I really connect with him. I like to laugh with him and be silly. I have Econ with Samie which bothers me. I dont want to be near her. She keeps talking about "her husband" I cannot even COUNT the times she said that in our class. No one is in Widbys class and I am taking Family and Parenting and the only people in that class are mexicans and girls who will probably be knocked up in a few months. I love my english class with Yoakley , he is a great teacher.

Another thing that has been bothering me is that everyone in my family is like going against me, and keeps hitting me up for money. Im like WTF! Im constantly having fights with my mom lately and I hate it. I have just stopped talking to her, it is better than fighting with her.

Hopefully getting my hair trimmed if I can stand mom long enough for her to do it. It looks really bad as of lately.
I think I am going to take me a nice warm bath tonight. I could use it. Then I think I will read before bed and talk to Daniel because he always puts me in a better mood.
I think tomorrow he is coming over and we are going to go get my new TV. Yay! Cuddlage in my room to some movies.

I actually got out of the house. I just had to get out. With this mother stuuf I felt I was going insane. Daniel didnt seem to want to talk much so I just shut the ol cellie off and went to a movie. Fun with Dick and Jane I must say is a good laugh. Went to go eat and then I stopped by Andys house to pick up my movies where I left them there forever ago. Didnt get to talk to Daniel much though tonight. Le sigh but tomorrow I shall see him at school.
Work tomorrow. Off Friday which I will prolly be out and about unless Daniel is free. :)

Im off to bed. School tomorrow and all.